Friday, November 04, 2005

Comparing My Environmental Activism With Cricket

I picked a good time for a walk this morn. Much like going out to bat in cricket. It was a good start with me killing 60 snails in the first two blocks. Much like facing some loose bowling early in the innings. By about the six minute mark I had reached 66 snails and one slug and began to have thoughts of reaching a hundred.

Another bout of quick scoring took my score, er tally, up to 90. The magical century was within sight. The next 10 mins and the runs dried up a bit and I was sitting on 95. Started to have thoughts of failing to the the ton. The "nervous nineties" had set in. Difficulties where there had been none before stepped in without reason.

Half way home and I was sitting on 97. Would I be stranded and not make it? Would I run out of batting partners or would scoring become so difficult and the runs dry up completely so that I failed to reach that magical mark?

An opportunity for two more arose and then some easy runs presented themselves for the ton - 104. I relaxed after reaching the three figures. More opportunities came about and scoring because free again. When I reached 111 I thought, "Oh no. Triple Nelson!" Umpire Shepherd would be hopping about on one leg. But that is the Englishmen's bogey score so I had nothing to worry about. Aussie's have a supposed bogey score where they get out for 87. Statistics do not bear this to be true however.

More free scoring and then I came to the realisation that I had the responsibility to go on and make a big hundred.

Final score - 142* snails, three slugs and one beetle. (Could have had half a dozen woodlice [slaters] but didn't bother.)

N.B. * denotes "not out"

7 comments:

NewYorkMoments said...

Cricket is the most boring game on earth.

Anonymous said...

I agree, newyorkmoments. Killing snails is right up there with it!

Nick Souter said...

I'd expect someone from New York to think that. If you understand the game (which everyone who says it is is boring doesn't) then you will see that it makes baseball seem like a children's sport! The game shits all over Americas national sport. In fact, I'd love it if a baseball fan were here to argue on this, coz I'll quite happily beat him on every individual point of baseball and show him the cricket equivalent which is much more skillful. (for the record, I don't hate baseball, I think it's a great sport too, just not as good as cricket!)

Anonymous said...

hmm, why do you enjoy the squashification of snails so much? it's a mean thing to do, isn't it. only cockroaches deserve it.

Anonymous said...

megha, you have obviously never grown flowers or vegetables, or you would not worry about the snails!

NewYorkMoments said...

Nick, baseball is just as boring as cricket. But, mercifully, baseball games are a lot shorter. Rugby union is the game!

Hammy said...

Rugby union may well be the game - as long as you aren't an Aussie today. Lost six in a row now. So much for being the World Champs of a few years ago. Heads are going to roll soon. I see that your rampaging All-Blacks are carrying on as such.